George w. Bush is writing a book. It's all part of his war on literacy.
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Humor
in Humor (Puns / Jokes)
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
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in Humor (Puns / Jokes)
You're a historian. Tell me if there are any bath-tubs in history. I think they've been frightfully neglected.
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Former governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, is promoting her new book and she's going to appear on the Oprah Winfrey Show. Sarah and Oprah. On the one hand, a very powerful woman qualified to be President of the United States, and on the other hand, you have Sarah. But if you think about it, Sarah Palin and Oprah Winfrey have a lot in common. They both helped get Obama elected.
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I like that Sarah Palin. She looks like the flight attendant who won't give you a second can of Pepsi. She looks like the nurse who weighs you and then makes you sit alone in your underwear for 20 minutes. She looks like a real estate agent whose picture you see on the bus stop bench. She looks like the hygienist who makes you feel guilty about not flossing. She looks like the relieved mom in a Tide commercial.
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Mitt Romney was a guest on 'The Tonight Show' on NBC. It's interesting, you have an empty suit trying to please everyone, and then Romney comes out.
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He read at wine, he read in bed, He read aloud, had he the breath, His every thought was with the dead, And so he read himself to death.
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Sarah Palin had a big op-ed piece in the Wall Street Journal, and she said she's against death panels. And I thought, 'Really? She's the one who pulled the plug on the McCain campaign.'
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They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.
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Newt Gingrich has criticized "New York elites" who ride the subway. One of those subway elites threw up on my pants this morning.
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