- Dr. Meredith Grey: What was I to you? The girl you screwed to get over being screwed?
- Dr. Derek Shepherd: You were like coming up for fresh air. It's like I was drowning and you saved me. It's all I know.
- Dr. Meredith Grey: It's not good enough.
-Meredith: You said that Derek and I woudn't have made it...
-Cristina: And I've been carnically impaled for having said it.
-Meredith: But you're right, peole don't live happy ever after, they can hardly live... so why should it be diferent for Derek and me?
-Christina: Meredith, why do you care what I think?
-Meredith: Because you're my person! And if I do this with him, and I become a healthy girl, sweet and cute that cohabits... I need you. I must know you're there, I need you to give me courage, because you're the only person who knows me really. Who knows everything about me. I need you to prentend it'll be ok even if you don't think so. Because if you leave me now, seriously I won't make it. And if I don't have a happ ending this'll only be...
-Cristina: Life.
-Meredith: I'm begging you.
-Cristina: I think that you and Derek'll make it, you'll make it work...
-Meredith: Are you saying it to make me happy?
-Cristina: I'm your person, I'm on your side.
We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?
I can't think of a single reason why I should be a surgeon, but I can think of a thousand reasons why I should quit. They make it hard on purpose... there are lives in our hands. There comes a moment when it's more than just a game, and you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away. I could quit but here's the thing, I love the playing field.
.
Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.
.
There are moments of our life in which loves defets all: exaust, insomnia... all. And there are those moments in which it seems that love doesn't bring you anything... but pain.
Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was, like, if you'd get a bike for your birthday or if you'd get to eat cookies for breakfast. Being an adult? Totally overrated. I mean seriously, don't be fooled by all the hot shoes and the great sex and the no parents anywhere telling you what to do. Adulthood is responsibility. Responsibility, it really does suck. Really, really sucks. Adults have to be places and do things and earn a living and pay the rent. And if you're training to be a surgeon, holding a human heart in your hands, hello? Talk about responsibility. Kind of makes bikes and cookies look really, really good, doesn't it? The scariest part about responsibility? When you screw up and let it slip right through your fingers.
They say practice makes perfect. Theory is, the more you think like a surgeon, the more you become one. Better you get at remaining neutral, clinical. Cut, suture, close. And the harder it becomes to turn it off. To stop thinking like a surgeon and remember what it means to think like a human being.
Sometimes reality exceeds expectations, sometimes awaiting confrontation with who we don't expect makes us turn pale. We should ask ourselves why we stick to our expectations, because what we expect makes us stop in anticipation... what we expect is only the beginning. What we don't expect instead is what changes our lives.
It's one of those things that people say: you can't go on until you haven't let go of the past... Letting go is the easy part, going ahead is painful, so sometimes we fight and we try to keep this unchanged.
But things can't always remain the same... at a certain point we have only to let go... to go ahead... because it doesn't matter how painful it is... it's the only way to grow up.