The problem, of course, was that he saw the world in black and white. And he got to decide what was black and what was white. You can't love a person who lives that way without fearing him too. Maybe even hating him a little.
It always hurts more to have and lose than to not have in the first place.
Your job today is to pass gas. You do that and we can start feeding you liquids. No fart, no food.
Behind every trial and sorrow that He makes us shoulder, God has a reason.
It is now your duty to hone that talent, because a person who wastes his God-given talents is a donkey.
I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded; not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night.
Children aren't coloring books. You don't get to fill them with your favorite colours.
And every day I thank [God] that I am alive, not because I fear death, but because my wife has a husband and my son is not an orphan.
'Men are easy' he said, fingers tapping on his mahogany desk. 'A man's plumbing is like his mind: simple, very few surprises. You ladies, on the other hand... well, God put a lot of thought into making you. '
There is only one sin. And that is theft: when you tell a lie, you steal someones right to the truth.