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Quotes by Woody Allen

Director, screenwriter, playwright and writer, born sunday december 1, 1935 in New York City, New York (United States)
You can find this author also in Humor.
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Posted by: Michele Pelliconi
in Quotes & Aphorisms ()
In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!
Woody Allen
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    in Quotes & Aphorisms ()
    I was at home, in front of the TV, the phone rings and the voice on the other end says, 'How would you like to be this year's vodka man?' And I said 'No, I'm an artist. I do not do commercials. I don't pander. I don't drink vodka. If I did I wouldn't drink your vodka.' He said, 'Too bad. It pays fifty thousand dollars.' I said, 'Hold on, I'll put Mr. Allen on the phone.
    Woody Allen
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      in Quotes & Aphorisms ()
      I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.
      Woody Allen
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